Another one from someone with a similar sense of humour.

A guy was sitting quietly reading the paper when his wife walked up and whacked him on his head with a magazine.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"That was for the piece of paper in your pants with the name Laura Lou written on it" she replied.

"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on", he explained.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry" she said "I should have know there was a good explanation".

Three days later he was watching TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.

When he came to he asked "What the hell was that for?".

She replied "Your horse called".

Recent email from my daughter. She has her dad's sense of humour!

A Husband Store has just opened in New York City that sells husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights.
You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor,
but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She continues up.....
The 2nd floor sign reads: These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
She goes up one more....
The 3rd floor sign reads: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a
Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There
are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd through 6th floors ...........................
.................................................have never been
visited.

Amelia Park Club 2007 Yearlings

The following horses will form the nucleus of the 2007 Amelia Park Club Syndicate;

Lot 1 Bletchely Park / Palace Intrigue Colt
Lot 16 Desert Prince / Princess Dehere Colt
Lot 94 Bletchley Park / Sushi Monster Filly
Lot 113 Marooned / Total Commitment Colt
Lot 126 Rory's Jester / Tycoon Miss Colt
Lot 151 Bletchley Park / Zeminahatra Filly
Lot 227 Right Wing / Dancing Star Filly
Lot 353 Stormy Son / Mia Myth Colt
Lot 448 Eternity Range / Symbol Cadia Colt

All of these horse will be paraded at Amelia Park Stud on March 11th along with a few others which will have shares available in them.

Amelia Park Parade Day

Amelia Park Stud will be conducting parade day of yearlings purchased at the recent sales for the 2007 Amelia Park Club Syndicate. The yearlings will be paraded at the picturesque Amelia Park Stud on the corner of Kaloorup Road and Hairpin Road, Vasse (just south of Busselton).

Peter Walsh will be putting on a

BBQ lunch and drinks from 12pm. to 3pm. on Sunday the 11th March

during which time the yearlings will be paraded. All members of the original syndicate are welcome to attend and bring along anybody who may be interested in joining up to the new syndicate.

As is usually the case when anyone attends Amelia Park Farm, the hospitality is so good that nobody wants to leave. That being the case, you are welcome to stay longer and enjoy a social afternoon and get together with other club members. All Peter asks is that if you plan on staying longer, don't be scared to bring along a bottle or two.

Guyno looking good.

Tough little NZ bred gelding, GUYNO showed he is on target for the WA Derby with another solid finishing performance in the Aquanita stakes at Ascot last week. The horse has only won twice in his short career so far but gives every indication that the further they go the more he will like it.

He is a half brother to a NZ Oaks winner so he should get the trip when we step him up in distance over the next few weeks. The 4 very happy part owners also have promissing 2yo filly Snookie The Bookie nearly ready to resume racing so there could be a bit of Whistle Blowing taking place over the next few weeks.

It is great to see owners getting a real kick out of thier horse.

BLACK HABIT shows up.

Two year old filly BLACK HABIT showed by her first up performance at Ascot on Saturday that she has a bright future ahead of her.

A big strong filly by Blackfriars, the filly had undergone a typical long slow Luciani style preparation before being unplaced in a 400m trial at Ascot a few weeks earlier. As any stable follower will know, you can't read too much into the trial form of my horses and it was no surprise to see the filly run such a good race on Saturday.

The filly settled well back in the field and was still well back on the corner. A typical cool ride by "The Fish" saw the filly slide up along the fence in the straight to run a very brave third. Had it not been for a fairly heavy bump at the 200m mark I am sure the filly would have taken a lot of beating. Looks like Walshy, Henchie and the Law's have found themselves another smart one.

The filly has now completed her education and has been sent out for a short spell before she has a crack at some late two year old races.

Solway Lass nearly.

Consistent mare Solway Lass showed yesterday that her next win is not far away.

Ridden for the first time by my new on loan apprentice Ismael Fadzlei, (CHEK) the mare powered home in a small field to go down by only a neck at the finish. The mare did a few things wrong as did the inexperienced rider, however the mare ran her best race for some time so nobody is complaining.

Whilst on that point, it is important that young apprentices are given opportunities within the stable where they are apprenticed so as to give other owners and trainers the confidence to put them on their horses. Sure the kids are going to make mistakes but that is why they have a three kilo allowance and they all have to start somewhere.

Solway Lass will probably have a few runs down in the Albany area during the next month or so before she has a bit of a spell. She should be too good for them down there and she should come back a more than handy mare next preparation.

Young "CHEK" could be a rider to follow on the outer country tracks over the next few months.

It pays to read the mail.

I have said it before on my site that if you want to back a winner, pay attention to what is written in the news section.

Last week I mentioned that OUTSIDE EDGE had run a very nice race first up and that he wouldn't take long to break his maiden status. Yesterday the horse stepped out at Ascot for his second up run and blew his opposition away winning at the very juicy odds of 12/1.

I know that sometimes the tips are a bit cryptic and you need to read between the lines but surely what I wrote about Outside Edge wasn't that hard to follow. Keep reading. There will be more.

Heavy fine impossed for race day outburst.

If you have been reading the local paper lately, you may have read that yours truly was a very naughty boy at the races on Wednesday.

My offence was that after having two horses badly interfered with (one almost coming to grief in the straight), the stewards took offence to my comments when I approached them in the mounting yard after the race. Now those of you who know me will know that Diplomacy is not my strong point and also that if I have something to say I will say it.

Unfortunately, my frustration and emotions at seeing little done by the stewards to wipe out the continual interference in races, along with the injury to horses, bubbled to the surface when I went into the mounting yard after race seven at Ascot on Wednesday. I did have a long and animated "discussion" with the chief steward which has obviously been viewed as over the top by them.

This morning I was charged with improper conduct by the stewards and fined $5,000.00 for my behaviour. Now I am the first one to admit that I should have chosen a better place to put my point of view across but unfortunately as I explained to the stewards, emotions are not really time or place compliant, thats why they are emotions. Pre meditated outbursts are a different thing.

Either way, I do not feel that the penalty fits the crime and will be doing my best to have the penalty reduced. Failing that I may need to take up a collection as the sales have left me a bit light on in the kick!!

Busy week nearly comes to an end.

Hi everyone out there who takes the time to read this or my previous site. I will ensure that over the weekend I bring everything up to date with what has been going on during the past week and what to expect in the next week.

At the moment I am running around between appointments. Had a very interesting stewards inquiry to attend this morning and I am now about to head off to the last day of the yearling sales. Don't think I have any money left to do any more buying, but with a bit of luck someone may buy me a drink!

Keep watching this space for latest news and sales purchases. Out of time for now. See ya.

Outside Edge runs mighty race first up.

Lightly raced three year old Outside Edge, showed by his first up effort on Saturday, that he is not far away from breaking his maiden status on his way to bigger and better things. After drawing a very wide barrier, the horse was taken back at the start to get close to the rail. Still well back on the corner the horse finished his race off in great style in the straight to finish in sixth place.

The horse is big and quite dumb as well as being bred to get over a bit of ground so I am looking forward to when we can get him up over 2000m and further. Maybe Walshy's dream of winning a Derby might come true sooner than he realises!!!

Secret Vault draws wide barrier.

Unbeaten 2yo filly Secret Vault has drawn an awkward barrier (12) for Wednesday's $250,000 Magic Millions Stakes making her job of just that little bit harder.

With the likely hood of a couple of scratchings drawn inside her, she should jump from barrier (10) which is not quite as bad. It certainly is shaping up as a very interesting race with a few of the fancies also drawing wide alleys. From our barrier Dion will have to be at his best to maintain Secret Vault's unbeaten record, however having the best horse and the best jockey is sure to be a big plus. (and a pretty good trainer!)

I am very happy with my filly and am looking forward to the race!

Busy days ahead this week.

If you see me looking a little worse for wear towards the end of next week the next few lines may help you to understand why.

Saturday will be track work as usual followed by an afternoon at Ascot races where I have five and possibly six runners. The best of these appears to be Glen Erin Lass in the first race and don't be surprised if Solway Lass runs a big race in the fourth race. Other runners who will step out tomorrow include Celt Code, Katevie, Outside Edge and maybe Sadlers Star if he gains a start in race two. Although they may not be suited tomorrow all of these horses are capable of improvement over the next few weeks.

Most of Sunday will be spent down at Belmont Race Course looking at yearlings in the upcoming MM SALES. Monday will be work as usual followed by more inspections. Tuesday we have early track work again followed by Jump Outs then you will find me at the sales trying to find another Lock The Vault or Secret Vault or La Couruese. I have seen some real nice types so the chances are good.

Wednesday we will be flat out at the Ascot races with a number of runners spearheaded by SECRET VAULT in the Magic Millions Stakes and GUYNO in the Aquanita Stakes. Later that night it will be back to the sales to hopefully celebrate a great day by purchasing a few more champions! Thursday we have Pinjarra races then back to the sale yards and if I am still alive and or still have any money left I will be back out there on Friday for more of the same.

So as I said: If I am looking a bit worse for wear come next Saturday, don't ask questions. Just feel sorry for me and buy me a drink. I reckon I will need one by then!!!!!

New site up and running.

It has taken a little while but finally we have the new site up and running. No doubt there will be a few teething problems, however I must say that the guys who have been working so hard to get this site up and running have done a marvelous job. Anyone who can create a Web Page that yours truly is capable of using must have some idea what they are doing. So to REGAN and all the crew from WORKHOUSE ADVERTISING, a very big thank you for a job well done.

Hopefully with my new spell check in place and a few sessions to get used to the new system I can keep the news page up to date quickly and easily. This is my first attempt so as they say, the proof of the pudding will be in the eating! I'm excited!!!

Secret Vault remains unbeaten

Secret Vault shows her class and her toughness with power packed display.

There is no doubting the ability and the desire to win, of top class two year old filly SECRET VAULT. On Saturday, the filly stepped out for the first time in nearly two months and showed by her effort, that she is the one they all have to beat in the upcoming two year old races.

After being pulled up early in what was a false start, the filly settled just off the pace in the re-run of race two. The filly received early interference, was caught wide, lumped 58kg and was still too good for opposition on Saturday.

Providing the filly does well after the run she will have her next start in the Magic Millions Stakes on February 14th.

GUYNO, also resuming from a short break ran a very pleasing race in the Challenge Stakes while LA COUREUSE ran a mighty race in her division of the two year old race. Both will be worth following this campaign.