5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE. JUST FOR KICKS!!

5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

LESSON 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that towel, "
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"

MORAL OF THE STORY:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

LESSON 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

LESSON 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always let your boss have the first say.
LESSON 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

LESSON 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

LESSON 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

MORALS OF THE STORY:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THIS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

I can't help it if I have some sick friends!!!!!

A BUSY WEEKEND AHEAD

The next few days is shaping up to be very very busy for LUCIANI STABLES with a number of runners, some overseas travel and the odd social engagement thrown in. I hope I am fit enough to stay the distance!!

Today we head out to Ascot for Railway Stakes day with two runners. I don't have a runner in the stakes this year however I plan to have one or two in the race next year. Today we start unraced two year old filly ROSE OF MAY in the second race and ALMOHAD in race six. ROSE OF MAY is a nice big strong filly by Helenus and she shows plenty in training. She has come a long way since her breaking in program back in May and although she is still a touchy big filly, she will derive a lot of benefit from today's race. I will be very happy if I see her running on strongly at the business end of the race.

ALMOHAD is a last start maiden winner at Pinjarra and he too has come a long way in a short time. He is a horse who I have a lot of time for and I am confident that he will develop into an above average three year old when he gets up over a bit of ground. The horse has trained on well since his Pinjarra win and he will run a good race today.

Tomorrow we head to Pinjarra with a couple of first starters and a couple of lightly raced maidens. CANNY TOUCH and DUMATIZA will be making their race debut tomorrow while CEEDEX and LORD AIRLIE are both lightly raced and should both figure prominently in there races. LORD AIRLIE is coming off a good second placing at Ascot last start and should appreciate the drop back to maiden company.

On Tuesday we head to Northam with another maiden CROWNY and a lightly raced former Kiwi horse, ST PIERRE. Both horses are training well and both should run forward races. In between we have a couple of two year olds stepping out at the trials on Monday morning and both are smart young fillies. I am looking forward to both of them getting to the race track. I won't be at the trials as I am heading off to N.Z. to do a stud tour and yearling inspection. With a bit of luck I may be able to find another GUYNO amongst the drafts to be offered through next years yearling sales.

Throw in a friends birthday party to attend tonight and I am confident of sleeping my way right across the Tasman tomorrow night.It's a tough gig but someones got to do it!!

MOCCASIN BEND TO MISS KINGSTON TOWN

Saturday's impressive W.A.Guineas winner MOCCASIN BEND will not be a starter in this years KINGSTON TOWN STAKES. This morning I took the filly down to Amelia Park where she can have a well earned rest before we decide which way we will head with her.

I had a good long think about whether or not to go again with her and have decided that she has done enough. The filly is starting to show a bit of wear and tear from her long preparation and although I may have gone again had the race been this weekend I felt that a three week gap was not in her best interest.

The filly has had a seven run campaign which is a bit more than I would normally do with a young filly however her races were well spaced and she did have a four week gap between her fourth and fifth run. I sent the filly out of the stables for about ten days during that break where she was able to get her mind freshened up. This seemed to work wonders as she was able to win the Belgravia Stakes after only one solid gallop.

Her second up run showed that she had felt her first up run however her work going into The Guineas could not be faulted. The filly has done well since Saturday and looked happy enough in herself however this years Kingston Town is shaping as a tough race. A lot tougher than last years when we had no eastern states visitors due to E.I.

MOCCASIN BEND will either be back for a crack at the Champion Fillies Stakes or we may leave her a bit longer and have a look at the ROMA CUP and BELMONT SPRINT with her.

ANYONE FOR A MOCCA???

MOCCASIN BEND hits the line a comfortable winner of Saturday's W.A. GUINEAS after an excellent ride from "THE FISH"



The trainer jockey and part owner are very happy to have their photo taken after the event with P.R. committeeman John Nicolay.

IF THE SHOE FITS??????

There is no doubt in my mind that not only did it fit, it was a very snug and comfortable fit at that!

I refer of course to my wonderful filly MOCCASIN BEND. The filly went to the races at Ascot for the W.A. Guineas yesterday as a genuine chance along side of at least five others.I had stated on Friday that luck would play a big part in determining the eventual winner of the race and in part this was true with the second horse being held up at a crucial stage before the corner. Ive been there on more than one occasion myself.

While there are possibly a few hard luck tales to come out of the race I have no doubt that the ride of jockey Jason Whiting from the ideal barrier draw was indeed a ten out of ten effort. Jason has been my stable rider for longer than I care to remember and one of his greatest attributes apart from loyalty is his complete and utter unflappability in a big race. We understand each other very well and there is rarely a need for any in depth instructions. I have never gone into a big race with Jason on board wondering if he was up to the big occasion. That in itself enables me to relax and stay focused on what I have to do.

MOCCASIN BEND is owned by a very diverse group of mates of mine who were spread around all parts of the globe yesterday. Only one was able to make it to the races while two were at home in Airlie Beach, one was stuck down south in Albany, one was away in New Zealand and another was serving customers at the front bar of his pub up the top of the Cape York Peninsular. After the win it was free drinks for all for the rest of the night at the only watering hole for some 500km.

Over the next few days I will decide whether we have one more start with MOCCASIN BEND or whether she is given a good spell right away. Yesterday was planned to be her grand final however I did nominate her for the Kingston Town Classic just in case. In fact that was the only nomination I have put in for any of the major races over the carnival so yesterdays win was certainly a very timely one. It is not the ideal program to wait another three weeks for the 1800m Gr1 event and the filly would have to show me that she is not feeling the effects of a long campaign for me to go that way with her.

MOCCASIN BEND has now had seven starts this preparation, having a short break of one month between her fourth start and her fifth start. Along the way she has won four races, second once and third twice along with her second at her only race start some twelve months earlier. Not a bad pick up at the local sales a couple of years ago for around $40,000.

THREE FOR THREE ON WEDNESDAY

Wednesdays Ascot meeting was one of mixed luck and emotions. We went to the races with three runners, DYLANESQUE, LORD AIRLIE and ST PIERRE. Prior to going out that day I had mentioned to all the connections that I had three runners, all at a bit of value and all capable of causing a boilover.

Well we didn't cause a boil over however we did go very close. DYLANESQUE ran second 25/1, LORD AIRLIE ran second 30/1 (50/1 in Queensland where the owners all live) and ST PIERRE looked like breaking through for his first win in Australia before just getting collared on the line to run third at 6/1.

All in all it was a pleasing effort from some lightly raced young horses and I am looking forward to them breaking through in the near future.

ALL OR NOTHING FOR "MOCCA"

Tomorrow we step out smart filly MOCCASIN BEND in the W.A.GUINEAS. The 1600m three year old race is open to both sexes and is a set weights race. The set weight conditions of the race invariably favour the better performed horses and MOCCASIN BEND certainly falls into that category however there are a few in the race which are equally if not more favoured by the conditions.

MOCCASIN BEND, like a lot of the horses in the race , is untried at the 1600m of tomorrow's race. Her racing style says she should get the trip however I would have liked to see her hit the line a little better at her last start over 1400m. On that occasion the filly was caught a shade wide when racing second up and had to give most of her rivals weight. The filly was forced to make a wide run from a fair way out after the horse she was following failed to take her into the race.

With some genuine speed on in tomorrows race and a handy barrier draw I would like to think that my filly can be ridden in a manner which takes advantage of all the ticks I have put alongside her. Luck in running is going to play a big part in the race tomorrow with some of the better chances drawn wide. Either way I am confident that my filly is fit and well and with a bit of luck she can play a part. She would have to win impressively for me to give her any more racing as the filly has been up for a while now and has earned a good break.

The W.A.GUINEAS is one of the few races on the local calendar which has eluded me over the years. I have run a number of seconds in the race with the likes of LOCK THE VAULT, MR TANZANIA and FANCY GAME to mention a few. Hopefully we can break through tomorrow.

ALMOHAD IS ON HIS WAY

ALMOHAD with Jason Whiting on board, toys with his rivals at Pinjarra last week.

3YO gelding ALMOHAD could not have been more impressive than he was when winning at Pinjarra last Thursday. The lightly raced son of Rock Of Gibraltar, was having only his second race start when he toyed with his opposition in the 1400m maiden event.

ALMOHAD raced first up at Northam on Cup Day and I was very impressed with his performance on the day. The horse settled back in the field before working home strongly without really having much idea of what was required of him. He actually covered as much ground running sideways in the straight as he did going forwards.

With the experience under his belt and a few gear changes the horse was able to hit the line in a far more tradesman like manner at his second race start and the future is looking good for this young horse. I will only give him one or two more runs before we put him away for a short break and get him back for an autumn campaign aimed at the W.A.Derby. It may be aiming high but I have no doubt that he can develop into a more than useful stayer in seasons to come.

GUYNO DOES US ALL PROUD.

I came away from Flemington yesterday very very pleased with the effort of my horse GUYNO in the Melbourne Cup but slightly disappointed that he didn't hold on to tenth place and thereby earn $115,000.00 thereby well and truly paying for the whole trip. In saying that I am not sure what monetary value we can put on the fun, excitement, thrills and experiences we have all enjoyed along the way with this tough little horse.

I certainly am not going to make excuses as most horses in a 22 horse field over 3200m are going to cop some sort of interference however GUYNO copped his very early which put him back near last instead of settling in the first half of the race. That was the end of the benefit of a good barrier draw.

GUYNO was officially placed 12th beaten 8.5 lengths. He was beaten a head and a neck out of tenth placing and was one length away from 8th place. At the end of the day I am very proud of the effort put in by my horse and even prouder of the effort put in by Dion over the past few months while he has been in Melbourne with the horse. The horse looked an absolute treat in the mounting yard yesterday, a point which was commented on to me by many other trainers in the race.

The horse has come through the run in great style and apart from some slight muscle soreness over the back he has come through the race in great order. The horse stepped out well when we took him for a long walk this morning and he will be given light jog work for the next few days before he is flown back home next Tuesday.

All the hype surrounding the Irish and English "champions" amounted to exactly that and I was happy to see that only two of the internationals actually beat GUYNO home. Not a bad effort from a little 150/1 pop from the west!

NEARLY THERE

We are now only 31 hours away from the official start time for the 2008 MELBOURNE CUP and I have to say that the hype and build up to the event is something else. There is no doubt in the world that when it comes to staging a major sporting event, the "Melburnians" do it the very best.

I go into the race with the "despised roughie" and even though GUYNO is likely to start as the longest priced horse in the race, I am convinced and confident that my horse will run a very much better race than his price suggests. There is always a doubt about many of the horses getting a strong 3200m, GUYNO included. Under normal circumstances I would have no doubt about GUYNO getting 3200m however this year with a genuine speed sure to be on from the outset courtesy of our Irish raiders, it promises to be an even tougher 3200m.

GUYNO continues to please in everything he does and I could not be happier with the way he has trained on throughout this campaign. He cantered three laps of the small sand track this morning and was quite full of himself even with his relaxed nature. The horse is as fit as we can have him and given a trouble free run I will not be looking for any excuses for him after the race.

There is no doubt that GUYNO deserves to be the price he is on exposed form however that does not stop me from being very keen on his chances. Rain is falling at the moment which is fairly typical of Melbourne however I think with the wind which is also expected, the track should be good come race time. Hopefully the track may even be a bit firm which will suit my horse and tell against the European horses.

We head out later this morning for the parade through the city and I hope it isn't raining when we do the lap of the city in the back seat of the convertible as I don't own an umbrella!

I caught up with GUYNO'S jockey Craig Newitt at Flemington on Saturday and I was quite surprised and very pleased as to just how keen and positive he was about the horses chances. Even for someone who has been around for as long as I have it is hard to impress me with bullshit but I was impressed with Craig's bullish attitude.

Anyway, enough from me for now. Whatever you do back in the Cup don't be to scared to have five each way on GUYNO. He will give you a run for your money.