A FEW FROM MY OVERSEAS MATES. ENJOY!!!!

The following is an actual exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company.

Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan

--------------------------------

Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Irish Railway Company
-----------------------------------

Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass.
That.... gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan.

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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a
well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and
help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried
horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well.
He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farm er's neighbors continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds
of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well
is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of
our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out
of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.


Give more.

Expect less


NOW .......

Enough of that crap.
The donkey later came back,
and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.


MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover
your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

**********************************************************************

The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.
I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."
"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.
"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some other wanker using my stuff."

She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another wanker?"


************************************************************************
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up
for 15 years.

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside,
he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of
bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict
gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes
into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes!
He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a
woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.

If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever
he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates
you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry,
he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!'

His wife responds, 'He wasn't kissing my neck.
He was whispering in my ear.

“He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute,
and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it’s in the bathroom.”

Be strong.
I love you too honey!'

CHANGE OF LUCK FOR WILD CHARGER

A proud owner John Yovich leads his horse WILD CHARGER back to scale after a brilliant win.



Jason Whiting urges WILD CHARGER to the line on Saturday.(Photo courtesy Hollands Photographics)

After winning first up this preparation, WILD CHARGER has been dogged by bad luck at his past few starts and there is no doubt that his record should read even better than it does. I can't even blame bad barriers or bad rides for his recent form as it really has been a case of bad luck from good barriers.

On Saturday the horse drew an awkward barrier however thanks to a confident ride from stable jockey Jason Whiting, the horse was able to win in great style. Jason had been out of the saddle for nearly six weeks after a fall at Narrogin left him with broken ribs and a punctured lung. It was typical of the professionalism and dedication of Jason that he was able to be back in the saddle as soon as he was and then to go out and ride such a classic race at his first ride back.

WILD CHARGER is a 3yo son of Trade Fair and he looks like a horse who should continue to improve with maturity. Whilst he may not be an up and coming star I have no doubt that he will win his way through to open company. It won't take long if he continues to be ridden the way he was on Saturday.

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY MUSICAL

It may not be the original making of the sound track but certainly a great rendition of it!! For those who can remember the movie, have a listen!!!

PERTH RACING NEEDS TO GIVE US ALL THE INFO

I guess I should start off by congratulating all concerned on the Committee of Perth Racing, for pulling off the land deal they have which involves the selling and developing of part of the land at the Belmont Racecourse. Although I have done so in person with a number of the committee, I certainly do offer my sincerest congratulations for a job well done over many years. From all accounts, it should help cement the future of the industry for many years to come, whilst delivering some much needed funds to improve the conditions for both horses and patrons at Belmont and Ascot racecourses.

What I now believe is equally as important is for the committee to come out and give its members as much information on what has transpired and what is planned for the future. Give us every detail of how much land is involved, how much money is involved, what the plans are to do with that money, how soon will the money be available, what guarantees are in place to receive the money and what measures are in place to protect against the money being misused??? Surely they are not hard questions and questions I am sure the industry members have a right to know.

I accept that the ink is still fairly dry on the paperwork surrounding all the negotiations however P.R. would do itself a huge favour if it were to come out and lay it all on the line in language that even I can understand. Let us have all the details so that we can collectively offer our congratulations on a job well done so that we can all rest easy.

A MONTH OR TWO IS A LONG TIME IN RACING!!!

Back in early March whilst sitting in my motel room in Morphetville, I had plenty of time on my hands with only one horse to look after. It gave me the opportunity to sit back and have a good look at events and decisions made within the racing industry by those in charge. I said at the time and I am happy to repeat my thoughts, that as far as being kept up to date and consulted on what were important matters, those with the most at stake seemed to get overlooked when it came to the decision making process.

As the heading suggests, my how things have changed!! And I have to say, changed for the better. I reckon that since the new year, I have been contacted by members of most organisations within the industry to either support what I said or condemn what I said. Others simply to explain and answer questions I had raised. And that is fair enough because I have never professed to know much, let alone all the answers. It wasn't a matter of me feeling important because people were contacting me but simply a case of being pleased that someone was listening. What I have always been concerned with is the lack of either transparency or genuine efforts to keep industry participants informed.

I now have to say that it is with great pleasure and some surprise, that of late, there has been so much constructive dialogue between all parties concerned. I am not taking any credit for this nor am I entitled to however over the past few weeks we have had a Racing Symposium conducted by RWWA and any number of meetings with officials from Perth Racing, all with a keen desire to share information. Even this morning, trainers were invited by RWWA officials to discuss stakes distribution issues for the next season and beyond.

In the past, this has been unheard of! In the past, it was almost an us against them mentality by those in charge and very much a case of treating us all like mushrooms. It is amazing what can be achieved when people can sit down to air their grievances to those who are prepared to not only listen but act on matters raised. It doesn't have to be grievances either. Simply a matter of some information which needs to be shared or an opinion sought on. I can only hope that the same attitude prevails over the coming months and participants continue to be given a proper hearing. If there was one negative to come from it all this morning, it would have to be the lack of trainers who showed enough interest in their own careers and industry to bother going along to hear what was being said. If they can't get interested in important industry issues when they are invited to do so then don't come running to the trainers association for help when times start to get a bit tougher.Granted that the meeting was held at a time not convenient to all but no time ever is. Only five trainers attended. It was obviously a very very bad time.

I can only hope that this mornings open meeting is a sign of things to come where we can all get the opportunity to discuss important industry issues with those in charge with no fear of reprisal for putting forward an opinion!